As part of our Division III Week celebration, we asked our senior student-athletes to share with us their Morrisville Story ... if they were to write a letter to their freshman self what would it say, and what advice would they share with themselves if they were to do their collegiate career over. It's been quite the journey for all, and we're lucky to have been a part of it!

Megan Kirk, Women's Hockey, Senior Criminal Justice major: A letter to my freshman self ...

MOMENT'S THAT WILL COME AND GO

Ever get doubted by someone or even doubt yourself in a particular instance?

Well from me to you, don't ever think you can't overcome something that has been a consistent issue for years now….. because you CAN and Morrisville WILL help you past it all. Take a moment to listen to my roller-coaster journey… but be sure to hold on tight!

 Months would pass as fast as days turned to nights and the thought of playing college hockey was always evolving through the mind of this little girl. As years took a turn and birthdays occurred it was always hard to see this life of a little two-year-old girl flash instantly into a midget minor competing stick on stick with the heart and dedication I have dreamed to have one day.

To go back in time when hockey practices started at six am and parents would help their kids get ready for an hour skate with one of the best coaches in town. Time would pass fairly quickly, and it would take a second to realize that it's impossible to gain those years back. It was so important to realize what was in the light of the tunnel and to enjoy every moment of it, because soon….that too will pass.

A COUPLE YEAR'S BACK

As an eighth grader a light started to shine with a positive refined look past the outskirts of what was being said. Many who knew this not so little girl was well aware of the problems that were soon to hit the fan. Although a hockey fanatic, wanting to pursue a dream there was still one thing in the way tugging me back by a thread.

The thought of separating from my mom's side was one that brought a pit of fire into my stomach as the anxiety washed through me. It was never really talked about much due to what it would result in, but maybe something that should have been fixed in the early years. This sickness held me back and stopped me from living and achieving my dream goals.

-I got contacted by a prep school in Ontario, Canada one of the biggest areas that hosted ice hockey. They invited me to come up and visit to check the school out, speak to the staff, and join them in a scrimmage game which would include eating with them prior to the game and taking the bus to the rink doors. To me, this sounded pretty amazing and something that would help benefit me as a player and a person….. but yet separating from my mom was something I ignored to think about. I wish there was a more complex way to realize someone needed to help me grow out of this. To everyone else it seemed that there was no helping in trying to fix the problem because in reality, it WASN'T going to happen.

-All and all the visit went well, after speaking with everyone from the school I started to realize that if I decided to do this I would be living eight hours from home. That would mean eight hours away from my mom… something I knew wasn't going to happen with the anxiety that would soon hit. On a high note, go out and do things out of your comfort zone… you will soon meet some great people who will be there to help you through the bumpy rocks in the road. When great opportunities come your way no matter what the expectations may be, take a chance and live your life to the fullest because in the end run you will be rewarded. Don't allow any kind of illness that can be controlled or somewhat fixed get in the way of your determination to pursue your dream goals. Put your mind to something, take sacrifices and gut everything out until you are satisfied with your outcome. With any road block in the way blow past it and think of all the great things you can do to impact the lives around you, far or near.

TIME IS TICKING DOWN… senior year!

Now a high school senior with months to go and not a single clue on where the next couple of months would lead too.

The end to this journey could come sooner than expected if things don't turn for the good. College searching began and tournaments would pass by like a quick breeze, with still no destiny. December came and there was a tournament in Connecticut, scouts took up the empty seats throughout the rink and I didn't think anything would further come from this tournament. A few days went by and I got contacted by the new Head Coach of the Morrisville State Women's Ice Hockey team, what a relieve and surprise all at once. I never thought this day would come, and now the thoughts of being separated from my mom slowly drifted back into my head.

During these last couple of months of my senior year it was important to look at all my options and realize how close/far they were from my house. Some would be further than others, but in reality I needed to determine how long I would drive to get to my dream school.

 As time started to wind down, the amount of anxiety started to pick up like a fast tornado insight. I realized how important picking a school was in regard to where I would be happiest.

It was a struggle to change who I once was… but if I planned to pursue these dreams something needed to get done. It wasn't going to be easy by any means, especially when you can see the doubt past the eyes of those around you. As time got closer to the Freshman Orientation day, I got sick to my stomach more often than usual. This wasn't a surprise at all. The feeling of a pit being stuck in the back of my throat was what I started to feel for a couple days now.

Have you ever had an uncomfortable feeling throughout your body, that you were unaware of how to change this feeling?

Well for me, it took awhile to go away. Eating, sleeping, and functioning for me was all off and you could tell that I wasn't doing okay handling everything. So they say, that life will get easier, but in my eyes these next couple of months were going to be bummppyyy. It would be necessary for me to hang on tight and see where everything took me day by day. Life was starting to get real faster than I imagined it happening, it was either that I was going to do this, or I was going to pull back out and drop everything. Not only did I have my parents admiring my opportunity, I also had four brother's, a sister, two nephew's, friends and family looking up to me.

Letting them down would put a huge chunk of regret in my body for more than four years of what I would be missing playing the game I love. Just because this was going to be a struggle for me, didn't exclude the fact that no one was going to stand behind me and help me through it all. I needed to take this chance, risk a bit in life and roll the dice to see where the next couple of months if not years would take me.

FAST FORWARD TO ORIENTATION

Reality was soon to hit me, and the sickness came straight into my body thinking about my mom leaving in two hours. The thought of eating was so disgusting I couldn't manage to even look at the food sitting in front of me. The look on my face was unreadable to others, yet to me I knew exactly how I was feeling and where I wanted to be. Back home, laying down right next to my mom rather than her leaving me shortly.

Well so the time came and still no one had faith I would make it a couple hours yet a day without my mom. She left me in my dorm room with my roommate to settle in and unpack the rest of my belongings. The rest is for you to find out next:

THE UNEXPECTED, ADAPTABLE LIFESTYLE

Dear Megan,

            Hey you, it's me! Yeah that's right, you right there! You really completed four years of college and completely proved to everyone who doubted you wrong. You're no longer a collegiate hockey player anymore, those days are now finished. No more worrying about whether you're making it to practice on time today or overthinking the answers to  a "quiz" that's worth 5% of your final grade. It would be to much to fill you in on everything that has occurred throughout the four years, but some substantial advise wouldn't hurt.

            Although the endless amount of effort in school work, hockey, or work has resulted in lost sleep, non-stop migraines and the need to call your mom on the phone to tell her about your "terrible day" you can be relieved that those days are now over. Reality will hit you soon, and it will start all over again but this time nothing involving school or hockey. Your adrenaline will no longer be pumping seconds prior to a big match up game. I understand that a day without hockey is something you cannot function with, let me try and help you out here:

1. No one is capable of giving you back those four years, DON'T take anything for granted.

Embrace every moment that comes to your presence throughout college. One day everything is going to be gone and in the rear mirror, and you're going to wish you had those early morning or late afternoon practices again. You're going to miss the time you spent on ice during practice that took you away from stressful work outside of hockey. The little time you had to joke during practice before coach got started and the times you did sprint intervals for twenty minutes straight. Oh and how could I forget twenty-minute boards and back something everyone dreaded but now there will be no more, and you will miss it.

No matter how hard times get, don't let anyone interfere with the plans you have laid ahead for yourself. Keep that determined look on your face and strive for only the best. Megan, throughout your years at college you will have friends, co-workers, teammates, and professors/coaches who come and go, but don't you dare let anyone stand in the way of what plans you have set out for yourself. Once you let someone win the battle, that's it the game is over, and you will have to restart from point one. Put you foot down and steer clear of all the negative people trying to ruin dreams of others. Surround yourself with positive, influential, and hardworking people. Own everything and soak up these next four years of your life.

2.  You're going to miss the study hall nights, bumps and bruises, fitness tests, and endless hours of community service.

You're going to wish you had one last study hall night or more fitness tests to be completed. The early morning conditioning held three times a week is something that will come and go. The endless hours you dedicated to community service events, where you saw smiles from those you have affected will be finished. Those bumps and bruises that left short-term visual but lasted long term in your memory will leave you with strength, dignity, and character.

All of this will once be something your life revolves around, but as time passes there will be no more. Unfortunately anytime you complained about anything involving your new family here at college, after time you will regret all of this. You will wish you could turn back time and re-do everything all over again from the very start of things beginning with Orientation Weekend.

3. Endless hours of sweat pouring out of your skin has developed you into a strong independent person.

The time you put in on and off the ice will pay off in the end run of things. You may not see this coming but your consistent time, effort and dedication to the game you love will return you with good consequences. You will wish, hope and beg for more time to play the game so that you can take that extra step and hop on the ice for help from coach or get that extra gym session in prior to practice.

Megan, all of this has shaped and formed you into the person you are today. You are more than ready to take that first step into the real world now. You are well prepared to take on the world and conquer your very first day of work. This is going to be something new, but not something that wasn't thrown at you before. You can handle anything and everything that comes your way, just put your mind to it and steer clear of the negativeness.

4. The bus rides, smiles, practices, conditioning, tears, the mile run, GAME DAY at home and the teammates that became family.

No matter what it consisted of during these four years, you're going to wish you could turn back in time and repeat the years. Everything went by so fast you didn't even realize how much time you had left, before it was too late. Megan, all those memories will remain with you until you choose to forget them. Four years as a college athlete took a turn for the best and left you with amazing memories, a stronger person, endless friendships and a more time managed person.

You're going to miss everything about college and wish you could start all over. The trips to an away game; the movies watched, the bonds made, the speed shopping you did, and the endless amount of naps from point A to B. You're going to miss practicing two hours each day; learning something new, being comfortable enough to make mistakes and do what is expected of you from coach. Running the mile was something you let take over hours you should have been sleeping, but Megan you're going to wish you could run it once more. You're going to wish you could dress up professionally and walk into the locker-room all cleaned, jerseys up and the ice freshly cut. You're going to miss talking to your teammates about something so random, no matter what time it happened to be.

Those days are now done, they're complete. Not only you, but everyone who has doubted you from day one is in complete awe that you really did this. You did everything they said you couldn't do. You proved a lot of people wrong and even surprised yourself by getting by not only weeks or months without your mom, but four years of college completed. You're now one step closer to everything falling into place, one less resume and cover letter to send in and endless amounts of communication with your colleagues. Megan, buckle that strap across your body hang tight and be ready for what is to come. No matter what kind of pain any day will bring you, just flash back on your days on the ice where you were injured or sick, yet you will see that you can push through whatever comes along your way. Your four years of college hockey are now in the past but will forever remain in the spotlight of your heart.

Go accomplish all you've been waiting for; the time is now yours and these past four years will forever remain by your side. Megan, you know exactly what to do, now go do it!